When I grow up.......

I often ask myself the question 'what is stopping me.......'? the blank could be filled with anything really. I could be talking about something as mundane as ironing, making the dinner or other general household chores. But there are also times when I ask the question in relation to much bigger issues, and I'll refer to that phrase that we all used as children 'When I grow up I want to be....'.

Nowadays, when this question is asked, even of my own children, the answer usually includes two very specific words i.e. famous and rich. This I fear is the product of the 'X Factor' generation, a generation who see that by going on a talent show all their prayers will be answered. The closest thing to a reality show in our day was 'Jim'll Fix It'!

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy reality TV shows as much as anyone else (except the ones where people have to eat spiders etc.....) and it was when watching the semifinal of X F tonight, that I thought about what I was going to write.

When I was a young girl I wanted to do EVERYTHING .... yep, everything. I wanted to be a teacher, a business woman (only because a lady that lived near us wore lovely suits and drove a fancy car), a singer, a mother and of course a nurse. Sure every little girl when they're about 7 wants to be a nurse, save the world and be like the late Mother Teresa, and help all the children whose pictures appeared on the Trocaire box every Lent. I wanted to do all that. Of course, I didn't have a reality show to tell me how to go about it, with a team in the background who would work with me and show me the way. No, I had to learn all by myself exactly what I was made of and what I was capable of. Jim'll Fix It didn't even answer my letters.

Like so many growing up in the '70s and '80s we didn't have all the opportunities that today's generation have. We certainly didn't have the internet to see what was going on in the world, or have cheap flights to explore the world. We had our own world - the communities we grew up in. Even the TV only had about 6 channels. Only as I got much older did I realise the importance of choice, because that's what my children and the next generation have. Choices. Probably too many some may say, and getting them to focus on one or maybe two is going to be the hardest choice. Making a decision is easy - it's the process leading up to it that is difficult.

So where is this blog going, well it brings me back to the opening line ..... "What is stopping me...?" The fact is that the only thing stopping me from doing what I really want to do is ME. And yes you're probably wondering what the hell does she want to do, well, like so many little girls I still have my dream to sing with a full symphony orchestra behind me. I don't think it's a huge dream, I think it is achievable, but..... and there's always a but..... caused by that great big doubting cloud that hangs around us all at some time or another, you know the one, but you just can't quite put your finger on it.

However, when I look at the list above of all that I wanted to do when I was little, I've actually done or achieved four out of five, and in my book that's not bad at all. And, because 90% of the time I reckon my glass is half full - I believe that somehow at some point I will achieve my ultimate dream. And don't go spoiling it on me and start talking logistics or musicians, I may be 60 when it happens, but who the hell cares ha ha ha ..... dreams are the sugar candy of our imaginations, they can be anything you want them to be, but to achieve them, I think you have to have belief in yourself. And the first step to that involves two very important words that mean so much....... I CAN !